So life is hard.. doesn't mean you should be a douche!

We all get frustrated with the seemingly futile constant patterns we encounter in our daily lives. We all have wants. We all have needs. At times it seems no one is understanding of much of anything. We try our damnedest to succeed at filling at least our most minimal, basic wants and needs. Often it seems that when we try the hardest is when we're less likely to succeed. It's almost as if people refuse to see our efforts intentionally. Could it be perhaps that we were too focused on our own struggles to communicate effectively? Are we possibly too quick to make snap judgments and negative deductions dismissing everyone who could be able to give us what we need? There's a lot of ego at play in modern day interacting and sadly not a lot of self reflecting much less second chances or altered first perceptions. We get angry when people misjudge us meanwhile we're quick to deem others unworthy without so much as a hint of empathy.




Sometimes we never even say something that could make the situation change like "that was inconsiderate and it made me feel unimportant to you even though I know you didn't mean to make me feel that way." Or how about "do you appreciate my casseroles?" Instead we say things like "you're an insecure bitch and I don't need to say or show you that I care whatsoever because you should be a better bitch that doesn't need me to be a decent person and considerate at all.. I'll just go pick up another or a side chick on tinder who will react the exact same way and I'll blame her too instead of admitting that I'm a dick." So it's okay and human to make mistakes or be too wrapped up in football to remember to say "dude, I love your casseroles. thanks a million for putting in time and effort to make me eat some dope dish."

However, it's never okay to NOT TRY TO UNDERSTAND why or how another person feels and why they could possibly see our actions the way they do and feel upset about our behavior. ADMITTING WE'RE WRONG does not make us bad people who are fucked up and totally fail in life. In fact, when we are able to acknowledge another's feelings we actually FEEL BETTER and so do they. When we make an effort to RELATE to people, we become closer and more secure in our relationships which helps everyone to fail less and grow and change. This is called being a mature adult.

The best you can do is: 

a.) Acknowledge their feelings.

b.) Don't blame them for having them.

c.) Don't make excuses.

d.) Don't justify your actions. This is equal to saying you did nothing wrong and therefore their feelings are invalid. Nobody's feelings are invalid. Ignoring someone's feelings does not make them go away. All they are asking for is you to acknowledge the way they feel. If you are capable of merely that then they will accept your excuses and short comings because they do not expect you to be anything but human however trying to deny that you are human is being a douche instead.

e.) Admit you made a mistake or at the very least simply apologize. 

This will usually make the scenario go away. But being a douchbag will turns one small insignificant problem that could easily be solved into a BIG BAG OF POO SMELLING DOUCHE STEW 💩 so seriously, dude... don't be a douche!